“We are successful, a loving couple, but from time to time I hear comments like this from my wife: "You are behaving inappropriately", "You dress inappropriately", "For once, you could do something for me". When I'm trying to decode, what he really wants to tell me, she starts to get angry. So I turn everything into a joke and the situation quickly returns to normal.”
I have some advice not for you, but for the wife. Instead of formulating your reservations in an intricate way, let him speak straight; np. "Hold the fork in your left hand", "Don't wear a green tie with orange polka dots with a purple shirt", "Please, throw the trash”.
I request, that your sense of humor is your forte and that is why I allowed myself to play in a playful tone. This is absolutely not a sign of my disregard for the problem. Contrary, I think, that spouses' communication problems can destroy even a wonderful relationship.